I'm not dead!

If you believe for one second that I haven't had any trouble on the site for the past two weeks, then you're very much mistaken. I just haven't had the chance to write it all down in blog form, so I'll give you a quick rundown of what I've had to deal with and then deal with the latest happenings on the site.

• The owners of a large estate car who decided to ignore the 'Please do not park on the grass' signs and drive across a protected wildlife area in order to park next to their tent. When I asked them to move, at 2230hours, they were very reluctant to do so. They then went in and complained the next morning to Alex that I had; a.) Shaken their tent wildly and shouted very loudly in order to wake them up (they were already awake, so no shaking/shouting took place) b.) Told them to move the car at midnight, which was 'well after the silence policy' and 'totally unacceptable' (they were actually asked to move at 2230hrs, well before the silence policy and completely acceptable.) Luckily Alex had already read my report and told them to 'go away'.
• Numerous fires involving various substances, none of which were allowed.
• Offered a bottle of Stella Artois (classy, I know) by a young lad, who didn't look any older than 12. His parents thought that this was hilarious, that shows what kind of family they were.
• Singing drunks making their way back from town. Telling them to be quiet and then being propositioned to fight by one of them. Half an hour later, I then received a complaint from a neighbouring tent about the noise levels from the singing drunks.
• Getting promoted from a PC to a Detective by the aforementioned singing drunks. It's amazing how anyone with a fluorescent jacket is automatically thought of as Police.
• Having to ask a group of males to quieten down twice in the space of 300 yards.
• Holding up the Army as they tried to leave the site at five in the morning with three minibuses and two cars. They were due to start a challenge at five, but due to my interfering and being generally annoyed by them, they didn't stop arguing until five thirty, when I finally let them out. They budgeted for around £50 for all of them; the final total was more than double that. They lied about the number of people/vehicles/tents they had, when they didn't realise that I went round and counted up every tent and vehicle for the report.

On top of all that, I now have an assistant. His name is Bryan and on his first shift, he talked the entire night. Now that he is trained up, he's out on his own and I look forward to my nights off. I promise that posting on a regular basis will return to normal very soon.