Biker Groups

Generally, and it's on the site rules so I know that it's a fact, we don't allow groups of motorcyclists on the park. I don't know how this group managed to sneak on, but they are there.
The previous evening they arrived back at around eleven o'clock and were fairly noisy. I spoke to them and asked them to quieten down and go to their tents. They did and I had no further dealings with them after that.

Last night, however, was a different story all together.

As I made my way around the park, I noticed a few empty cans of lager on a picnic table outside the bikers tents. I thought that they were leaving in the morning and had decided to call it an early night. Oh, how wrong was I.

Just after midnight, a large taxi pulled up and a group spilled out into the car park. I stood at reception to watch what was going on. They were being very disruptive and I was about to go and ask them to quieten down, when another taxi pulled up and offloaded another group. The noise increased ten-fold. That was enough to warrant the first interaction with the night warden. As I made my way down to the gate, they were walking up. I spoke to the first male, I had spoken to him the previous evening, and asked him to instruct the group in their native tongue to quieten down immediately. He apologised and turned to the group and said something in Dutch (remember that key point, as it comes in useful later in the story). The group carried on walking and another male, who I suspected of smoking something narcotic the previous evening, said, "Evening." I responded to this by repeating the pleasantries and he stopped. He stood on the spot, swaying slightly from side to side, rolling his arms. I said "Evening" again and he smiled and carried on walking.

I decided to follow them up to their tents to ensure that they were going to be quiet. One of the group, dressed in a 'comical' hat and clogs (yes, I kid you not) was urinating against the trees. I spoke to him and pointed out the toilets to him. He finished what he was doing, picked up his pint glass of lager and walked off. How he managed to take a pint glass, with alcohol in it, from town into a taxi and all the way to the campsite is beyond me.

I followed them again.

As I came round the front of the toilets, I noticed a male come out of the female toilets and return to his tent. He was part of the bike group. I stood at the entrance to the toilets to let them know, visually, that I was there. They were quiet going into the toilets and coming back out once word had got round that they were being monitored. All except one. The clog-wearing, urinator himself. Wooden clogs and concrete are not a match made in heaven, especially not at 12.30 in the morning.

After they had finished using the facilities, I realised that they were becoming quite noisy, so I walked over to ask them to quieten down. I told them that this was their final warning and if I had to return the manager would be called. After a brief conversation with them, which included one member of the party asking me "to speak the Queen's English, not broken English with a Polish accent." (incidentally, I'm not Polish and have subsequently never been to Poland.) They realised I was serious and as I walked away, one of the Dutch crowd said, "Looks like the party is over then."

Indeed it is.

If it's not one thing, it's another...

Normally, at work, I'm constantly subjected to an ear-bashing throughout the night by the owls who find that the trees around the site are the most comfortable in a 20-mile radius. Recently, along with the owls, I've heard some other strange noises at night. At first I thought it was a punter, but I soon quashed that thought when I walked around the entire site and realised the noise was coming from outwith the park.

Any noise coming from outside the park is beyond my control. I did check the other buildings nearby, just in case I was missing something.

Once I had established that the noises were not coming from within the park, and a vague direction of where they were coming from, I set off to see if I could pinpoint the source. On the first night, I couldn't because the noise stopped as soon as I left the site.

Last night, the noise seemed to be closer than ever, so I could try and decipher it when it was more clearer than previous occasions. I thought it was someone having some sort of attack or medical emergency in one of the caravan/motorhome fields. After a brief check, I soon realised that no one was around and trying to get my attention to call for emergency assistance.

Again, I was completely baffled by the noise (which did sound like someone shouting, "help" at one stage) and where it was coming from. I decided to take a walk outwith the park and along the road a little. I quickly established that the noise was coming from the other side of the river, and it did sound more human than animal.

A quick run back to the office to grab the most powerful torch and a quick run back to where I heard the noise (who says I don't do any work?). I waited for the noise again, which by this point was becoming more frequent than on previous occasions, and when I managed to gauge roughly where the noise was coming from, I shone the torch across the river to see what it was.

I shone the torch directly across the river and couldn't see anything. I slowly scanned the riverside with the powerful light emitting from the torch, I noticed something move. I directed the beacon of light towards the tall, dead, oak tree. There was an eerie silence, which was briefly interrupted by a punter moving in their squeaky caravan bed, then it happened again. I edged closer to the river and kept the torch on the same spot, hoping to catch a glimpse of this beast. Was I on the verge of a scientific breakthrough? Had I discovered the UK's equivalent of a yeti? Suddenly, the torchlight bounced off something glassy and reflective. I narrowed my eyes and shielded them from the glare. Then the night air was broken from it's calmness by the noise again. I edged as close as I could to the riverside, breaking the silence momentarily when I stepped on a stray branch which snapped under my boot. I peered again. It edged it's way out slowly from behind the tall, dead oak tree. It's black eyes stared across the river at me, it was trying to intimidate me. I knew that I was safe, by the time it had crossed the fast-flowing river I would be back on the site and on the phone to the relevant authorities. Slowly, and carefully, it edged it's way out further. It gave a much quieter drone, almost questionable in sound, as it stared at me. I realised then what had been responsible for the deathly noises over the past few nights. It was a cow.

Yes, it really has been that quiet lately.

The Owl and the Pussycat

Well, it has to be said that last night was one of the most interesting nights I have had for a long time. Probably since I started this position months ago.

Both groups which I blogged about yesterday (this post) have been removed from the park. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Alex told me the good news and an even bigger sigh when I saw two blank spaces of grass where they were pitched the previous evening.

Anyway, back to last night. It started off as any other night does, nice and quiet. I walked around the site and satisfied myself that I would have a trouble-free evening. Or so I thought.

It was all going so well, until a vehicle decided to drive from the amenities block to the car park. A distance of less than 400 yards. Why they couldn't walk there, I am unsure, but that was to become apparent later in the night. As it was just after eleven, I didn't bother to speak to them (even though, on hindsight, I wished that I had).

A few taxis came back from the town and made their way quietly to their respective caravans and tents.

It quietened down for a short while, until I heard a vehicle pull in and park up. As soon as they got out of the car, they became very noisy. So I made my way down to the gate to have a word in their ears. As soon as they saw me standing there, they quietened down, bid me a good night and walked off. They walked off quietly, but soon the noise started again. I followed them, at a distance, to see where they were going and to ask them to stop antagonising the owls by making spectacularly rubbish owl noises.

Once they had found their tents, they continued to be loud so I asked them again to quieten down. They apologised and I stood behind their tents to keep an eye on them. They couldn't see me, but I could see, and hear, them. It was then I noticed a torchlight at reception. It was only when the torchbearer turned the corner, that I could see how powerful the torch was. It was very powerful indeed, and not the average type of torch a punter would have. I decided to leave the males to it and made my way to reception.

As I turned the corner, I noticed a fluorescent jacket and two people standing there. It was the Police. I walked over to them, and realised it was our regular PC and one I hadn't seen before. They were looking for the owners of a vehicle which had just came back from town and was currently parked at the gate. I asked them for the registration number and the details of the car to see if it would jog my memory. As soon as he told me the make and model of the vehicle, I knew exactly who it was. The Owl Impressionists.

I showed the boys in blue where the tents were and one of the males was outside. It just so happened to be the driver of the vehicle in question. As the Police were questioning the male, the following conversation took place;

"Where's the skins?"
"Shut up, man, the Police are here."
"I know, but where's the skins? I need a joint, man!"
"Shut up, the Police are out here."
"Where's the dope?"

I was trying my best not to laugh, and the Police Officer spotted this and we both shared a 'How stupid can you be?' moment.

The male was taken down to the Police car to be breathalysed, and I spoke to the tent once more before I followed them down. When I got there, I had a long conversation with one of the constables, the regular one, before he went back to the car.

About half an hour later, a taxi pulled up and a large group spilled out into the car park. One of the drunken females noticed the Police car (let's be honest, it's not that difficult) and walked up to the driver's window to attempt a conversation with the officer of the law. It went like this;

"Hello there Mister Policeman!"
"Hello"
"Are you here to arrest me? I've been a naughty girl!"
"No, I'm not."
"Aw, but what if I said. . ."
(Police car window closes)
"He's a NASTY Mister Policeman!"

As they walked in, I asked them to quieten down and I didn't want to hear another word out of them. I think I was approximately halfway through saying, "Quieten down" when the female replied,

"Hello there Mister Man!"

At that point the regular Police officer got out the car and informed me of the outcome and thanked me for my help. After they drove off, I decided to follow the drunken group which had recently returned. Luckily, they were going to a caravan. They were still being noisy, so I walked into the caravan park and up to their 'van. I heard voices from round the back and I knew from the topic they were discussing, they were urinating. I shone the torch round the back and told them they had five seconds (which is long enough, even if you are drunk) to make themselves decent before I came round. I duly waited the five seconds, I actually think I gave them longer, and walked round. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight which was thrust upon my eyes. Let's just say, the two males had made themselves decent, but the two females hadn't. I got an "eye-full" as some may say, of the two females. I averted my eyes, and waited a few seconds before putting the torch back on them. At least they had covered up slightly, and were in the process of pulling up their jeans when I spoke to one of the males. I informed him of where the toilets were and if I had to return, they would be spending the night in Police custody.

It quietened down a lot after that, so after a quick walk around the site, I went for my break. About halfway through my well deserved break, I heard a vehicle moving around. I walked out of the office and noticed a car driving towards me. The same vehicle as earlier. I spoke to the occupants and they explained their predicament. It sounded rather suspicious to me, so I asked them to park up and sleep it off until the gates opened at six. They had come camping with a tent, but no sleeping bags or blankets. Sound suspicious to you? I thought so.

After that, the park was quiet until I knocked off shift.