Saturday 12 April 2008

Normal Service Resumed

It seemed like I wasn't going to get back into the normal routine for another few weeks, but as last night proved, I was very wrong. Last night was one of those nights which made me remember all the good things from last year, as last night was officially the night which set into concrete, that I am in charge.

As I was walking around the site, on my preliminary check, I noticed a large group of punters making their way back to their tents. It wasn't the number that drew my attention to them; it was the fact that they were making a lot of noise. I stood behind their tents, far enough away to hear every spoken word, yet close enough to make my presence clear. They did notice me and the drunken "sssh"'s started. I left them to it, as I had the rest of the site to check.

Because they had distracted me from my preliminary check, I was late getting back to reception. When I checked the time, I had to about-turn and go lock up. After I had locked everything, I made my way back to the large group and noticed they were still up and about, and making a lot of noise. I intervened in my usual fashion and asked them to quieten down. They apologised, believe me this is a rare occurrence in itself, and I went over to speak to another large group.

I walked around the site again and had to wake someone up who had fallen asleep with their radio on. I asked them to turn it off, which they did, and I continued on my way. I did notice what I believed to be a male heading into the female toilet block, so I walked over and opened the door and my original sense was confirmed. There was a male in the female toilet block.

"Right you, out."
"Oh, sorry."

As the male was walking out, I pointed to the picture on the door which confirmed that this entrance was for female punters only.

"See that? Female."
"I did notice that."
"You noticed it and still went in?"
"Yyyyyyyyeah..."
"OK"

I left him to it at that point, as I realised any further conversation was, more than likely, going to confuse him further.

I returned to check on the large group to ensure they were quiet and were heading off to their beds. When I got there, I couldn't have been further from the truth. They were heading to their beds, but hadn't quite grasped the concept of complete silence which is required. One tent in particular was more boisterous than the others.

"This is your second warning. If I have to come back here again, you will all be leaving. (pause) Tonight."

I reckon that all the tents in the group heard me, as a deathly silence fell upon that particular area. Sadly though, I didn't return to throw all ten of them off.

Friday 11 April 2008

Pick and Mix

I had a bad feeling as I approached the campsite last night, there was something in the air that told me to be wary and that tonight wasn't going to be an easy night. Don't get me wrong, it started off pretty sedately, everything was peaceful and there was not a sound to be heard. Then I left the office.

After a quick walk around the site, almost being run over by a speeding Swede (not a high velocity vegetable, but an actual Swedish national driving a Volvo) and making a mental note of where all the tents were and who I suspected were going to cause problems. Once I was happy, I stood outside the reception to pass the time for five minutes, when I noticed a vehicle slowing down and turning into the driveway. I knew instantaneously that it wasn't a taxi, as they never slow down for that corner and never cruise up the driveway at a relaxed pace. As the vehicle approached, I noticed the light bar on the roof. It was my old friends, from last season, the Police. They turned the car around and stopped by me. Turns out they weren't at the site for any reason, they were just passing the time and stopped to see who the night warden this year was. Once they realised that it was myself, they drove off. Time was moving on, so I returned to the office to pick up the lock for the gate and went back out to start locking up the showers and laundry facilities.

Once everything was secure, I heard a vehicle drive down from the restaurant, turn in the car park at the entrance and then drive back in that direction. By the time it took me to walk the few hundred yards from the second block to the reception, the driver had completed that lap twice. I was, naturally, suspicious of this behaviour, so I went into the caravan field nearest the road to see if I could see the vehicle and hopefully get it's registration number. Just as I approached the fence, the vehicle headed in my direction. I ran to the fence and arrived just in time to see it drive past. It turns out it was the restaurant manager's car. What he was up to, I don't know. Curiosity satisfied, I made my way back towards reception. As I was walking back through the caravan field, I heard a van start up and proceed to drive towards the exit. Knowing full well that the gates were locked, I walked at my usual relaxed pace towards the gates, where I met the van. Which, by this point, had started to reverse away from the gate. The driver stopped when they noticed my fluorescent jacket heading in their direction. Nothing, and I mean that sincerely, could have prepared me for what happened next.

As I approached the van, the driver would down her window and said,

"I'm sorry, *name deleted* didn't tell me the gates were locked at night."
"Well, the rules do state that no vehicles should be moving about on the site after Eleven o'clock."
"Can I get out?"
"Sure."
"I know your face."

I knew, from the moment I saw her, who she was. It's a shame that she didn't recall me. Obviously, I'd divulge all the details. Maybe I'll come back to this post one day.

After I had secured the gates, I went into the nearest tent field as I could hear voices. As I approached the tent, I stopped and listened to the conversation. Trust me, it's vital to do this as you can interject into the conversation at a crucial moment. It's even better when you pause outside the tent when the occupants are getting intimate with each other, waiting a few moments and politely telling them that "...this is a family park, could you quieten down please." Anyway, I digress. The conversation which I overheard was a heated debate between two females about the existence of God. It was getting quite humourous at certain points, where I would have loved to have said in a booming voice "I do exist and there are people trying to sleep, please be quiet." Had it not been after midnight, then I would have done exactly that. But, as always, I gave them the polite first warning and they settled down after that.

Shortly after this, I heard a taxi draw up at the gate, so I went to ensure all was well. The three males who exited the vehicle were drunk and loud. Not my ideal punter at one in the morning. Sadly, they didn't have a tent pitched and were looking for somewhere to pitch up for the night. I pointed them in the direction of which they came and told them that we didn't take anyone after midnight (not technically a lie, but it's my executive decision as to whom I let on site after hours) and if they wanted to stay somewhere, it wouldn't be here. It was at this point one of the males became quite mouthy and aggressive. We stood and debated at the entrance for what seemed like half an hour, before I realised that I wasn't going to get rid of them easily. I let them on the site under strict conditions. Those were that they pitched their tent and called it a night.

Two hours and several visits to their tent later, I delivered them their final ultimatum. If they weren't quiet now, they were welcome to stay in the company of the local constabulary. Naturally, they protested their innocence and told me that they were going home tomorrow, on the first bus (around 7.30am), and really didn't want any trouble. I gave them ten minutes to quieten down and left them to it. When I returned, all was quiet and they were finally asleep.

After that, the night was just like any other night. As the late arrivals hadn't paid me when they came in, I was going to ensure that they paid before they left.

At around seven o'clock, I heard a loud disturbance at reception. I was at one of the several points on the site where the reception building is out of view, so I had to make my way down to the reception as quickly as possible. I realised that it was the recycling truck which had come to remove the cardboard. They usually make a lot of noise and I have had dealings with them last season. However, the amount of noise they made did not awaken our three latecomers, who slept soundly until a member of the day staff went to their tent for payment after eight o'clock.

Here's hoping that tonight is quieter.