I'm a Night Warden NOT a Childminder

Well, last night was exceptional compared the previous few nights. Things happened and lots of them! So much so, that I didn't once think, "Hey, I could blog about this" instead I was thinking more along the lines of, "Why me?"

Alex radioed in fairly early into the shift and told me all I needed to know, including the fact he had been given his assurances by the group I spoke to last night that they wouldn't make any noise whatsoever (they stuck to their word) and the park was slightly busier.

I walked around the site checking on who I thought was going to cause problems. There was a few. As I was walking towards one of the toilet blocks, I noticed a light high up in the tree and a teenage male standing at the bottom. I shone the torch onto the light and saw the outline of a person.

"Right, down from the tree, NOW!"

I then walked over to the large group and asked them to quieten down and also to keep an eye on their children, who were running all over the park.

"How can we quieten down? We're only talking, this is a low as we can talk."

Now, I could hear them from some distance away, so I knew they were lying.

I went back to the task in hand and locked all the buildings up and locked the gate. I heard a vehicle starting up, but presumed it was outwith the park as it was after eleven. As I walked back to the gazebo that was making the noise, I noticed strong lights coming towards one of the entrances to the caravan fields, followed a short while later by a car. The car drove towards me and stopped,

"You've closed the gates, haven't you?"
"Yes. They're closed at eleven."
"Oh, can we get out?"
"Certainly, but you can't get back in again."
"That's fine."

I walked down towards the gates and opened them, the vehicle drove off and the gates were secured once again. While I was at the gates, I noticed two males unloading their car in the car park, so I went to speak to them. They wanted to pitch up for the night, so I happily showed them where to pitch and the general rules of the site. They were happy with this and I bid them 'good night'.

I then went up to one of the tent fields and noticed two young females cycling around between the tents without lights on. So I stopped them and told them to head back to their tent/caravan immediately.

I then went around checking the toilets, and came to one block and all the doors were closed. So, I had to open all the doors and check the toilets for damage, etc. I was about to go into the female toilets, when the same young girl I spoke to for cycling around with no lights on, popped her head out the door and quickly back in again. So I went up to the door, opened it and told them to head to their tent/caravan.

As I exited the toilet block, I heard a banging metallic noise coming from the closed reserved field. I know that it's currently closed, because the day staff are digging up pipes and replacing them. I walked over to the field and found the two tree-climbers playing around near the JCB. Again, I sent them to their tent/caravan. Which, luckily for me, was in the same direction as I was heading, so I knew where they were pitched for my report to Alex in the morning.

I then walked into one of the tent fields and noticed the three young females loitering behind the toilet block, so I went over to speak to them again. They obviously noticed the fluorescent jacket and scarpered. I walked around the front of the building and noticed the same girl poking her head around the side of the building, then quickly disappearing again. I went into the female toilets, via the staff entrance, and told them again to go back to their tent/caravan.

I followed them, at a distance, and found them loitering at the edge of the park on the footpath which most dog-walkers use. I decided that they had been told enough times and left them to it.

I went back to the children's parents and told them to quieten down or the manager would be called out. The party had halved since I last spoke to them, and it appeared it was only the sensible ones left. They apologised and did quieten down.

I heard a car pulling up at the gate, so I went to investigate. It was another two people wanting to book in for the night, so I put them next to the other two late arrivals.

It was at this point I noticed a motorhome parked at the gate, so I went down to speak to them. It was a large group of Germans, who seemed generally quite pleasant, so I pointed them in the direction of the public car park and told them to come back when the park opened in the morning. They thanked me, piled into the motorhome and left.

I walked around the park and back to the gate when I heard a vehicle pull in. As I walked down, I noticed a male urinating against the hedge. So when I spoke to them, I asked if they had booked in to which they replied with a negative. So I asked the urinator not to urinate against the hedge and sent them to join the Germans for the evening.

A short while later, a taxi pulled up and two males got out and immediately started talking loudly. So I asked them to quieten down and followed them, at a distance, to their tent. When I got there, I noticed both males urinating against the hedge. I pointed out the toilets/silence policy/car park (they had parked on the grass) and they went into their tent.

Ten minutes later, I heard loud voices from quite some distance away, so I hot-footed it up to the two males and asked them to quieten down or leave. Because they arrived late, they hadn't yet paid so if they continued to make a noise, Alex wouldn't hesitate to evict them from the site.

A quick lunch break, which was cut short when I heard a vehicle pull in just before four.

I spoke to them and asked them to quieten down, they seemed OK, so I left them to it.

I then went to tidy up the toilet blocks, I managed one and was en route to the second when I heard the three males, who had just arrived back, talking loudly. I went over and spoke to them;

"Right, it's half four in the morning, I suggest you go to bed now."
"OK, we will."

Then one of them said something (I can't recall offhand what it was, but it was facetious) so I replied with;

"Do you want to pack up and leave now?"
"No, no, he's just joking."
"Well, I'm not."

I waited around outside the tent for about five minutes before leaving them to it.

I then went to the third toilet block to tidy up. All was well until I entered the showers. I was sweeping the female showers and they were fairly clean, until I opened one door and made a shocking discovery. Someone couldn't hold it in and decided to defecate on the shower floor. In the female showers.

I went to get the hose, which is kept for this type of job, to wash it down the drains. Now, for those of you who don't know, once fecal matter has been disturbed by an external force, the smell comes out. And what a smell that was. Even now, as I type this blog, the smell is caught in the back of my throat. I cleaned it to the best of my abilities, with the resources available, and locked the shower cubicle.

I opened everything back up again and went for a long coffee break.

Hopefully tonight won't hold any surprises for me.

Children vs. Parents

First of all, a bit of good news. The occupants of the late arriving motorhome last night decided not to check into the site today, so all fears of being brutally murdered or "flattened" were put to rest early on in the shift.

The park is slightly busier than last night, but then again it's the weekend and it generally gets busier then. I spoke to one group at five past eleven and told them of the silence policy, they apologised and quietened down fairly quickly.

I returned to the tent, some twenty minutes later and asked them again to quieten down. It was at this point I noticed their tent was put up in a very hap-hazard way. It looked as though, if you pulled one of the guy-ropes out of the ground, the whole tent would come crashing down. I daren't get too close, just in case the wind picks up and I am blamed for destroying their tent.

I walked around the park and spoke to a few other tents about the level of noise, they all quietened down fairly quickly, so I went back to check on the one group who were causing problems.

As I approached the tent, I heard one of the children trying to reason with their parents in getting them to quieten down;

"What if they do chuck us out? Where will we stay?"
"SSH! They can't chuck us off, we've paid to stay here."

Incorrect answer, ma'am. Although it hasn't happened when I have been on duty, Alex has been known to kick disruptive guests off the park at three in the morning before. Regardless of whether you have paid or not, there are other people around you who have also paid and are trying to sleep.

It was at this point I interjected in their conversation and told them to quieten down immediately otherwise the manager would be called and they may be asked to pack up and leave the park. I had to smile when I heard the same child whisper the following;

"See? I told you so."

After that, I didn't speak to them again. Yet I still had to submit a report because I had spoken to them on three occasions.

The rest of the night passed by fairly quickly with nothing else to report. The season is slowly grinding to a halt.

Flattened

No, I haven't died or given up on this blog, it's just been rather quiet lately on the site so there has been a serious lack of posts.

It was a fairly quiet Wednesday night on the site, with nothing untoward happening. At around four in the morning, I noticed a large white object parked at the gate, so I decided to go and investigate.

I made my way down to the gate, there was a motorhome parked up in the car park. I checked the gate when I came out of the office after my break, so I knew that the occupants had only arrived within the last half hour or so, so the chances of them being asleep were slim.

When I approached the motorhome, all the curtains were closed and it appeared that they were asleep. I walked around the vehicle to get an accurate description as possible for the report. I checked all the windows and the dashboard for a site ticket (they could have already booked in, but went out for the day and came back late. That's the problem with motorhomes), but I couldn't find one. So I had to knock on the door. The voice from within came quickly, so I knew the occupants were still awake.

"Hello?"
"Night Warden, could you open the door please."

A long wait later the door swung open, almost taking me out in the process, and a large male stood there, glaring down at me.

"Are you a resident here?"
"No, we're booking in tomorrow, but we're spending the night here until reception opens."
"I'm sorry, Sir, this is a private car park, you're going to have to go to the public car park about half a mile down the road."

Now the male wasn't very impressed with my tone of voice/colour of jacket/eyebrows or something, because he then said something which threw me completely.

"Hang on, you're the one who came banging on my door at four in the morning and told us to move. Speak to me like that again and I'll come out there and flatten you."

Well, if he wants to resort to violence, that's fair enough. At least he'll have somewhere to stay for the night. I told him that I wasn't going to argue with him and walked off. As I made my way back to the gate, I could hear him talking to someone inside the motorhome about how annoyed he was.

To stop him booking in, all I needed was his vehicle registration number, but I couldn't get it. The reason? He was hanging around outside the vehicle intentionally so I couldn't get those details. It's just as well I have a good memory and managed to remember quite a number of specific details relating to the vehicle. All of which were put into the report for Alex in the morning.

A short while later, the motorhome drove out of the car park and down the road. Only time will tell if he tries to book in in the morning.

Perseverance Pays Off

After several days of making cups of coffee in the world's oldest microwave and an unhygienic pot, the powers that be have seen it fit to purchase a new kettle. Well, when I say "purchase", it does look remarkably similar to the old one, albeit slightly cleaner. I had actually missed using a kettle in the office over the course of the past few days, so I was slightly wary of it when I switched it on first. When it boiled, I must confess, I did let out a small cry of delight that normal service was resumed.

It's just as well the kettle had been replaced, as the site was very quiet last night and only one taxi came back. At twenty past eleven. Unfortunately for me, however, they were very quiet and went straight to bed. Which left me wandering, aimlessly, around the site for a few hours. I was sorely tempted to sit in the office and boil the kettle repeatedly just for the want of something to do. Besides, there are only a limited amount of times you can read the newspaper. Even at that, I think I overdid it slightly after the fortieth time.

By around one o'clock, I was starting to get bored. I'd walked around the site several times, read the newspaper countless times, read a well known catalogue-shop's catalogue from cover to cover, as well as reading everything in the office. You'll never appreciate how quiet some nights can be until you find yourself reading the user manual for a petrol chainsaw at four in the morning. Although I did notice something written on the cover of a manual for a petrol strimmer. Someone, at some point, had written the date of purchase on the cover (25th June 1996) and written in the bottom right hand corner of the booklet, "Stolen: 19th Sept. 1996"

One other point I read. In the "staff handbook" circa. mid 90's it states: "The 'office' is used by both genders (if you are unsure what this means, ask the warden)" Did they really employ someone who was so dense they had to write that into the staff handbook? I guess I'll never know.

Aggressive Behaviour

As I pulled into work last night, I noticed the familiar outline of Alex's car sitting outside reception. I thought it was rather strange that he was still there at that time of night, unless something serious had happened.

It turns out that all was well on the site and he had merely come down to speak to me about the reports I had left in the office for him that morning. The group concerned, weren't happy that I was asking them to quieten down, so Alex explained the silence policy to them but they already knew about it. It turns out that they are friends of the owner and weren't happy that they were spoken to in such an aggressive manner the previous evening.

I explained to Alex that I only become aggressive when needs must. Usually after the fourth or fifth time telling someone to shut up and go to bed. I doubt anything will come of it, as they were due to leave today anyway.

There is still no kettle in the office, which has seen me making cups of coffee using the microwave. At least it's slightly cleaner than the pots. Incidentally, someone has cleaned the frying pan. It's a vast improvement, but they neglected to clean the two ring stove which is used. It is still caked with grease.

It was very quiet last night, and long may it continue, as the end of the season is very soon. Which leaves me with one issue. Do I continue the blog until next season rolls around or do I close the doors on it until then? I mean, I have another job lined up which could be fruitful in the way of blog postings. This is where the readers of this blog come into play, let me know what you think I should do in the comments section.