Fire in the hole!

Campfires and anyone caught burning anything other than charcoal, will be facing a visit from yours truly. So, can anyone explain to me why I had to visit three tents last night, who were all burning wood? The coincidence on this occasion was that all three were in the same field within yards of each other. It proclaims quite clearly in the site rules, of which everyone is given when they book in, that campfires are prohibited.

I noticed the first one, mainly due to its size, as soon as I had left the comfort of the office. I didn't want to go directly there, as this is usually when people become very defensive. So I decided to go the "scenic" route. This way I'd be able to sneak up on them from behind and appear from the shadows and catch them off-guard. I've found that this is the most effective way, as most people are unprepared for anyone appearing from behind their tent and usually comply with any instructions they are given.

As I approached, I could tell by the scent that the punters were burning tree-branches. I asked the male to put the fire out and that wood fires were prohibited on the site. He seemed genuinely apologetic, but this was down to the fact he had been caught off-guard. As I stood there, ensuring that he put the fire out, his wife/girlfriend/partner decided to shoot me a few dirty looks. All of which were ignored. I felt something brush past my leg and heard panting, blindly I put my hand down and petted the dog which was at my side. As I looked down, I noticed the animal wasn't on a leash, the male was then asked a further question, "Is this your dog?" to which the affirmative was replied, I then asked him to put it on a leash. He apologised, again, and did so. It was only when he called the dog over to him and it was in the light of the tent, that I realised I had been blindly petting a rottweiler.

The second group, were huddled under a tarpaulin with a charcoal barbeque with added branches. I approached them from the side, almost getting attacked by a tree in the process, and asked them to put out the fire. I briefly explained the rules regarding fires, which went unnoticed, and was told by the male that he had found the branches 'over there'. On a campsite, more specifically my site, there is no shortage of trees. So pointing out to me which tree you stripped, is of no relevance to myself. They reluctantly put out the fire and I walked off.

I hadn't walked much more than ten feet or so, when I came across a small stone fireplace, still smouldering, in the car park. As there was no one near it, I decided to use the conveniently placed bottle of water to extinguish the remains of the fire. From the contents of the fireplace, it appears they were burning paper or a similar material. This is, again, on the list of 'Things which shouldn't be used on the site.' As I walked off, a male exited the toilet block and made his way towards me, we exchanged pleasantries and I continued on my way. When I got to the bottom of the field, I turned around. The male who had exited the toilets as I was putting the remains of the fire out, was surveying the scene, before getting into his tent. It would appear that this punter was the firestarter.

Aside from that, the rest of the night passed very quickly with nothing of note happening. I read, and finished, an entire book, it was that quiet.

Just Say NO!

On hindsight, that could have saved me from becoming very stressed the other night.

It started off quiet enough, but soon descended into madness. At around a quarter to midnight, a minibus pulled up at the gate, realised it was closed so they parked up in the bays provided. I went down to the gate to investigate what was going on. They had apparently phoned up earlier in the evening and had been told that it was OK and they could arrive whenever they wanted, as there was a Night Warden on duty to let them onto the park. Once the driver had verified that I was the Night Warden, he asked if I could open the gate so he and the other fifteen members of his party could pitch their tents. I told him that the gates were locked at 11pm and he was almost an hour too late to get onto the site. Initially, I wasn't happy to let such a large crowd onto the park at this late hour, so I radioed Alex to find out if he knew anything about them. Unsurprisingly, he didn't and told me to inform them of the various other car parks in the area, as they weren't going to be sleeping here tonight. They weren't happy at this decision and asked to speak to Alex. I would have loved to drag him all the way down to the site, only to watch the fireworks which would undoubtedly follow, then watching them leave the site. One of the group had friends on the site and asked me if it was OK for him to go on the park. I was fine with this, under certain circumstances. Those were that he slept in his friend’s tent and if I caught him pitching his own tent, then he would be removed from the site with a Police escort.

A short while later, a large four wheel drive vehicle pulled into the car park. I spoke to the female driver, who informed me that they had just driven for several hours and weren't aware the gates would be locked. She had her husband and two young children with her; I trusted my instinct and let them onto the park. After I had told them the various rules and regulations, I was walking off and her two young children, both of them, said "Thank you." Their parents did not utter a word. They were quiet for the rest of the night and they even extended their stay on the site for a few days.

I walked around the site, ensuring that everyone was quiet and nothing untoward was happening whilst I had been distracted by the late arrivals. I then heard another vehicle at the entrance, so I made my way down to ensure all was well.

As I reached the gate, a young couple got out of their vehicle and walked towards the entrance. They asked me if they could pitch their tent for the night. I gave them a quick glance up and down and decided to let them onto the park. I gave them a quick lecture about the rules and regulations, which they were happy with, and pointed to the area next to the family, who had arrived about half an hour prior to them. I walked towards reception to ensure they knew where to pitch their tent and that everything was in order.

They stood there for a few moments, before heading over to where the family's tent was and walked past it. So far past it, they were heading into the caravan section. I walked over to them and asked them to pitch up next to the two tents which were there already. The female apologised and said they were "lost." I sighed (I have to stop sighing at people, it's becoming a habit) and pointed to the two tents and said, "Just pitch next to them."

I decided to take a walk around the park, as I thought I had heard a disturbance, which turned out to be nothing. When I arrived back, the family was settling down for the night, yet the young couple was nowhere to be seen. I looked around, in all directions, and then I noticed a light at the bottom of the caravan field. I knew that it was the young couple immediately, so I headed off down towards them. Again I asked them to pitch next to the other two tents, and then I walked off towards reception. When I got there, I turned around and noticed them about to set up their tent in the middle of the caravan field, nowhere near the other two tents. I walked quickly over to them and asked if there were any problems (they were British, so there were no language barriers which it could be blamed on). The female told me that they had "heard voices" from the other two tents and didn't want to disturb them by setting up their tent.

I was quickly losing patience.

I instructed them to pitch next to the other two tents and left them to it. My stress levels were becoming quite high, so I decided to calm down by taking a walk around the site. When I came back, they were nowhere to be seen. I then noticed two figures heading into another of the tent fields. My instinct told me that it was them. I took a shortcut and headed after them. When I stopped them, they were quite surprised. I asked them if they were lost again and they informed me that they were going to "find our mates." I assured them there would be plenty of time for that in the morning and sent them back to pitch their tent.

After a quick coffee break, which was urgently required, I went back out to check on them and they had pitched their tent, although it wasn't next to the other two. The point is, they pitched it in the correct field and they were getting ready for bed.

Next time, anyone who tries this trick, won't get away so easily. If they can't follow a simple instruction then they will be asked to leave immediately.