Saturday 31 May 2008

Quiet Riot

There's nothing worse than having to deal with the aftermath of an incident, when you weren't aware of the incident taking place and having to explain yourself to punters. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it makes you think that you weren't doing your job well enough. At least I have a reasonable excuse for not hearing the incident; I was on shift with Bryan last night. It looks like I tuned him out and also any other noise on the site. Again he talked for the entire shift. He also saw a UFO when I was off this week, so that goes to show what kind of person I have to spend almost ten hours of my day with.

With everything locked up, albeit ten minutes later due to Bryan's incessant ramblings, I decided to walk around with him to make sure he spoke to people in the correct manner and that he was settling into the job. Unfortunately, when he spoke to the occupants of a tent, he wasn't introducing himself. When I corrected him, he made a vague attempt at a joke about it and no matter what I said; he couldn't understand why he had to introduce himself to them when he spoke to the occupants of a noisy tent. It was because of this, that I had to walk around with him for the duration of the shift.

The whole evening passed by without having to speak to anyone more than once. There was no rioting going on, which we were aware of, bearing in mind that no matter whereabouts you are on the site, you will hear someone coughing, let alone having a full-scale domestic. So it came as a bit of a surprise when a small male with a mullet haircut (I think that this was more surprising than anything else) and very thick glasses, which made his eyes appear to be huge, approached us outside the office within the last hour of the shift.

"Do you have a postbox?" he asked.
"Yes, just around the front." I replied.

A few minutes later, he reappeared still clutching his hand-written note to Alex. When he asked for a postbox (as you and I would assume would be a run-of-the-mill Royal Mail postbox) he was actually looking for a letterbox at reception. When he couldn't find one, he returned and voiced his complaint to us. Naturally we were both concerned, as we hadn't heard anything. Had I been on my own last night, I am pretty certain I would have heard something. After Mr. Mullet had left, I read his letter to Alex. After trying to read his illegible note and trying to ascertain what had happened, things started to fall into place in my mind.

After we had cleaned up one amenities block, a female went in to use the facilities. Normally, no matter what time of the morning they usually say hello or something not entirely dissimilar. This woman said nothing. As we walked to the second amenities block, I heard a vehicle engine starting up and as I scanned the park, I noticed a white estate car driving around the park. Bearing in mind this was at around half past four in the morning and it was a diesel engine. When the car got to the junction where it could turn left for the main entrance or right for a highly populated tent field, I was surprised when it turned to the right. With myself and Bryan blocking the road, the driver (the female who had been in the previous amenities block and said nothing to us) attempted to drive around us. Now, regardless of the time of morning, you would notice two people blocking the road dressed in fluorescent coats. When she did stop the vehicle, she informed us of her intention to drive around the densely populated tent field a few times to warm up her car as she was a bit cold. Showing a blatant disregard for her fellow campers, we told her to go back to her tent and park up, turn the engine off and go back to sleep. When she parked up, I heard the engine being switched off (This is an important part, remember this).

We continued to tidy up the amenities block and moved onto the third one. I noticed a male and his young daughter packing up their tent, bearing in mind there was still an hour to go before the gates opened, so we went to have a word with him. He came across as very arrogant and facetious. As soon as we were out of his line of sight, but we could see him quite clearly from our vantage point, he drove down to the gate. I pointed out to Bryan that we had asked him to not move the vehicle on the site until after six o'clock. Because he had ignored this, it was to be his downfall.

As we were checking the female toilets, a male stood outside and shouted into us. Now, I had noticed this male not ten minutes previously running to the toilet and back to his motorhome (which isn't unusual, as the sunrise is very early and consequently it brightens early too so people think that it's later than it actually is.) He told us that he had to start a challenge at 5:30am and needed to get out. Bryan looked at me, and I at him, I gave a slight nod and he went to let them out.

Now, you'll have noticed this in your everyday lives and it was certainly very evident last night, the "snowball effect" isn't something I enjoy before six o'clock. Whenever punters hear someone driving around, and they also wanted to leave early, they will then proceed to do so. Two vehicles drove down to the gate before six, but explain this: when we opened the gate at six, there was only one waiting and the gate had not been opened.

After receiving the letter from Mr. Mullet, who had very helpfully noted down the vehicle registration number in his letter, we decided to have a walk around to see if we could find it. I knew in the back of my mind that the angry estate-car driver was one of the spokes in the riot. We walked around and I mentioned, in passing, to Bryan, "What's the bet that it's the woman we stopped earlier?" I found the vehicle in question, glanced at the registration number and, lo and behold, they matched.

As we approached the vehicle, I checked to see which tent was theirs and to see when they were leaving. The vehicle was in the car park, with both of the occupants asleep and the engine running. It was now seven o'clock and it had been like this since around 5.30am, if Mr. Mullet is to be believed. A female, from the tent directly opposite the car, approached us and asked if we were "in authority." She then told us her version of the story, which made it seem like we had missed World War Three. I think, and I can sympathise with her entirely, from her perspective that because she had her young family with her and they were all subjected to a verbal onslaught of varying degrees of expletives from around 9pm the previous evening, she wasn't entirely happy. We assured her that, with her complaint and others received, they would be getting a rude awakening and being asked to leave very early. She seemed happy with this outcome, as she and her family were due to stay with us for another few nights.

Bryan walked over to the vehicle, and I stood in front of it (it's a little trick to ensure that the first thing they see when they wake up is the jacket and think they are in more serious trouble), he knocked on the window and the male woke up, turned the engine off and was then asked by Bryan to keep the engine off. He agreed, closed the car door and went back to the land of slumber.

So it was, by all accounts, an eventful night. It's just a shame that because of Bryan's incessant talking that I missed the signs of the quietest riot known to have occurred.

Tuesday 27 May 2008

I'm not dead!

If you believe for one second that I haven't had any trouble on the site for the past two weeks, then you're very much mistaken. I just haven't had the chance to write it all down in blog form, so I'll give you a quick rundown of what I've had to deal with and then deal with the latest happenings on the site.

  • The owners of a large estate car who decided to ignore the 'Please do not park on the grass' signs and drive across a protected wildlife area in order to park next to their tent. When I asked them to move, at 2230hours, they were very reluctant to do so. They then went in and complained the next morning to Alex that I had; a.) Shaken their tent wildly and shouted very loudly in order to wake them up (they were already awake, so no shaking/shouting took place) b.) Told them to move the car at midnight, which was 'well after the silence policy' and 'totally unacceptable' (they were actually asked to move at 2230hrs, well before the silence policy and completely acceptable.) Luckily Alex had already read my report and told them to 'go away'.
  • Numerous fires involving various substances, none of which were allowed.
  • Offered a bottle of Stella Artois (classy, I know) by a young lad, who didn't look any older than 12. His parents thought that this was hilarious, that shows what kind of family they were.
  • Singing drunks making their way back from town. Telling them to be quiet and then being propositioned to fight by one of them. Half an hour later, I then received a complaint from a neighbouring tent about the noise levels from the singing drunks.
  • Getting promoted from a PC to a Detective by the aforementioned singing drunks. It's amazing how anyone with a fluorescent jacket is automatically thought of as Police.
  • Having to ask a group of males to quieten down twice in the space of 300 yards.
  • Holding up the Army as they tried to leave the site at five in the morning with three minibuses and two cars. They were due to start a challenge at five, but due to my interfering and being generally annoyed by them, they didn't stop arguing until five thirty, when I finally let them out. They budgeted for around £50 for all of them; the final total was more than double that. They lied about the number of people/vehicles/tents they had, when they didn't realise that I went round and counted up every tent and vehicle for the report.

On top of all that, I now have an assistant. His name is Bryan and on his first shift, he talked the entire night. Now that he is trained up, he's out on his own and I look forward to my nights off. I promise that posting on a regular basis will return to normal very soon.