Saturday 1 September 2007

Toilet Sleepers

The event which we have been warned about are almost upon us, and we've all been bracing ourselves at all levels. From the owner, right down to the cleaning staff. Alex has told us to be on our toes at all times, because people will try to get away with things that are frowned upon in many respects. Campfires, walking around with opened alcoholic containers (which, I didn't realise was in the rules until recently and I shall now be enforcing with vigour).

Last night was fairly interesting, as the final few weeks of the 2007 season goes, in which we had a fairly quiet one. I was placed on gate-duty again, a task which I don't actually mind because it involves a great deal of punter-staff relations. Either way, the amount of vehicles which came back wasn't spectacular and most of the punters were of reasonable, non-loutish behaviour. Which is always welcome on the site.

At around 0100hours, myself and Archie were checking the toilets, a task which has to be done regularly at the weekends to ensure no punters have decided to sleep there instead of in their tents. As I walked into the largest toilet block on the site, I heard snoring. As I turned and spotted the punter, all curled up in the foetal position, on the counter next to the sinks, I realised that this male was the one I had stopped earlier in the evening, urinating in full view of several tents and punters. The same male who thought that the toilet block he was now fast asleep in, was the main reception. Anyway, I digress. Archie was designated the 'waker-upper' duties, whilst I had my hand firmly wrapped around my 'trusty steed' should the patron become violent. Due to the strong smell of alcohol emitting from him, this is always a possibility. It hasn't happened yet, but you should never count your chickens before they've hatched.

As he slowly awoke from his deep slumber, his first question was, "How long have you been trying to wake me?" Luckily, it hadn't been all that long. Archie told him to go to his tent and sleep there. He was complaining of "back pain" and the hard surface of the worktop helped him to sleep. I thought this was a fair comment, considering the fact he was so inebriated that he could barely stand. It wasn't until he mumbled the following, that alarm bells started to ring inside my head;

"I'll be honest with you, I don't have a tent."

OK, so we have an unwelcome guest on the site. Again we told him that he couldn't sleep there, no matter how good it was for his aching back, he had to leave. He stumbled outside and walked off. I kept my eye on him to ensure that he was going to leave the park. He wandered around to the rear of the building, so I duly followed him. I asked him again to leave the site and he assured me that he was just going to finish his cigarette and then leave. Archie wanted to check the toilets on another part of the site, so I walked round and grabbed the brightest torch from the shed and met up with him on his return journey. We both walked back to where we had seen the sleeping male last. Once we'd established that he wasn't there and was nowhere in the vicinity, we wondered where he had wandered off to. I checked the entrance and the road, but someone in his state couldn't have staggered too far. The roads and the entrance were both clear, so I checked the children's play area and the wooded area around the back of the holiday cottages. No trace.

Back to the toilets to check them again, and one of the cubicles was occupied. Was this our mystery man? I waited around outside to see who would come out. A short while transpired and nobody emerged. I heard the sound of the cubicle door being unlocked, so I gave the occupant enough time to set foot outside. When they didn't, I walked over to the toilets to check them again. The occupant of the cubicle was standing, brushing his teeth, at the sink. It wasn't our man. I did a quick check of the building and grounds. Once I had established that he wasn't there, I made my way to the nearest toilet block to check there. Again, no sign of the missing male. As I was heading back out of that field, Archie said something over the radio. It was a short transmission, and I only heard his current location and the 'roger' bleep. I made my way over to the field and found Archie standing next to our man.

He knew the rough location of the tent of his friends, but not the actual tent. After he had a long, slurred conversation with Archie, we both decided that it would be best if he walked off his alcohol and came back at dawn, when he would have more of a chance to find the tent he was looking for. He must have sobered up/woken up a bit more than the last time we spoke to him, as he realised this was a good idea. He walked off the site and down the road. I checked on his progress and he was far enough down the road for us to go for a coffee break.

He returned a few hours later and managed to get into his friend's tent and sleep for a few hours. All's well that end's well.

Back in tonight, where we may have an extra warden on duty and some interesting tales to tell in the morning. The good news is that I shall be relieved of gate duty for the forthcoming ten days or so.

Thursday 30 August 2007

Tumbleweeds and an eerie silence

It was like something out of a vintage western film. With the added bonus of some rain early on in the evening.

When I arrived, the whole park was bustling with activity, even though the reception was closed. I was seriously expecting it to be a busy night, I couldn't have been further from the truth.

Archie left a note in my locker about some guitar-toting punters. Fortunately they had left/been kicked off the site by Alex prior to my arrival.

I set off around the site at the usual time, and there was still a number of people wandering around and cars heading back onto the site for the night. By eleven, everything had quietened down, with the odd exception. This time next week will be a completely different story.

I only had to speak to two tents who were talking a bit too loudly. They apologised and were genuine about the situation. At around half past one in the morning, a small troop of Irish teens came back from the pub. They were making a lot of noise, so when I spoke to them I told them that if I had to speak to them again, they would be leaving the park tonight. I stood close to their tents and watched them like a hawk. Surprisingly, they quietened down pretty soon when they realised I wasn't going to leave them alone. I did, once I heard the snores emitting from the tents.

Other than that, all was quiet. Most of the tickets had today's date on them, so I'd be surprised if the park is busy tonight, I could be wrong though, but I hope not.

Monday 27 August 2007

Bank Holiday Bonanza!

Well, what promised to be a challenging Bank Holiday weekend turned out to be no more than a gentle breeze on a Summer's day. Not that anyone in the UK would know what a Summer's day is like, going on the past few months anyway.

Friday night was fairly busy, with the tent fields sitting at the almost full point and the caravan/motorhome pitches spaced out evenly, although not that busy. It sets us in good stead for the coming few weeks when all hell will be let loose and a crowd descends upon this sleepy little town all expecting a party.

I spoke to an Australian couple who had arrived late and realised that the gate was closed and that they couldn't get in. They had a tent, but they would have preferred to sleep in the car, as pitching a tent in the rain wasn't something that they were used to. When I told them that this wasn't possible, they informed me that they would go to another campsite where the gate was closed and try to gain access there. I, personally, don't see the logic behind that thinking, but if that's what they want to do, I'm not going to stop them.

The crowd which I spoke to the previous evening had been spoken to earlier in the day by Alex, and he was told they wouldn't make a sound on Saturday night. I'm pleased to say that they stuck by their word. When their neighbours came back from the pub, Archie spoke to them and one of them squared up to him and told him, in broken English, that they weren't making a noise and told him where to stick his silence policy. I think Archie felt a little intimidated by them, as he didn't speak to them again for the remainder of the evening.

Sunday, however, was a different case altogether. One group, who Archie spoke to and told them to turn their radio off, decided to talk amongst themselves whilst drinking into the small hours of the morning. I decided to join Archie, after a short coffee break, to see how they were. It came as no surprise to us both, that when we walked up to that particular field they were still making a noise and they had decided to switch the radio back on. Archie went over to talk to them as the two females headed in my direction. One of them remarked how unhappy I looked at my job. I told them I was only unhappy with them as they were the only people on the site who were intent on making a noise. I also gave them a five minute warning from the moment they set foot back in their tent, otherwise they would be leaving the site.

A short walk around the park revealed that all was quiet, so it was back up to the four "twenty-somethings" only to discover that they were still talking, loudly. I walked over to their tent and gave them two minutes to quieten down otherwise they would be leaving the site. I waited close by to keep my eye on them, and to ensure that the noise levels were not breached.

After the two minutes had elapsed, I gave them one final ultimatum. Complete silence or leave the park. Naturally, because of the amount of alcohol they had consumed, they put up a bit of resistance and we had a short discussion to the point where I told them that the Police would be called if I didn't have complete silence. I stood next to their tent, with the torch off, listening to the conversation. I only do this for one reason, to hear the wondrous phrase "Let's call it a night and go to bed now." Unfortunately in this case it did not materialise. They did say,

"I wonder what would happen if they called the Police on us?"
"What if they do call the Police?"

At this point I shone the torch onto the tent and said,

"I'm sure that can be arranged."

One of the males laughed and responded with, "Good shout mate."

I waited around near the tent and approximately fifteen minutes later, they all went to bed.

After that, peacefulness reigned supreme across the entire site.