Toilet Sleepers

The event which we have been warned about are almost upon us, and we've all been bracing ourselves at all levels. From the owner, right down to the cleaning staff. Alex has told us to be on our toes at all times, because people will try to get away with things that are frowned upon in many respects. Campfires, walking around with opened alcoholic containers (which, I didn't realise was in the rules until recently and I shall now be enforcing with vigour).

Last night was fairly interesting, as the final few weeks of the 2007 season goes, in which we had a fairly quiet one. I was placed on gate-duty again, a task which I don't actually mind because it involves a great deal of punter-staff relations. Either way, the amount of vehicles which came back wasn't spectacular and most of the punters were of reasonable, non-loutish behaviour. Which is always welcome on the site.

At around 0100hours, myself and Archie were checking the toilets, a task which has to be done regularly at the weekends to ensure no punters have decided to sleep there instead of in their tents. As I walked into the largest toilet block on the site, I heard snoring. As I turned and spotted the punter, all curled up in the foetal position, on the counter next to the sinks, I realised that this male was the one I had stopped earlier in the evening, urinating in full view of several tents and punters. The same male who thought that the toilet block he was now fast asleep in, was the main reception. Anyway, I digress. Archie was designated the 'waker-upper' duties, whilst I had my hand firmly wrapped around my 'trusty steed' should the patron become violent. Due to the strong smell of alcohol emitting from him, this is always a possibility. It hasn't happened yet, but you should never count your chickens before they've hatched.

As he slowly awoke from his deep slumber, his first question was, "How long have you been trying to wake me?" Luckily, it hadn't been all that long. Archie told him to go to his tent and sleep there. He was complaining of "back pain" and the hard surface of the worktop helped him to sleep. I thought this was a fair comment, considering the fact he was so inebriated that he could barely stand. It wasn't until he mumbled the following, that alarm bells started to ring inside my head;

"I'll be honest with you, I don't have a tent."

OK, so we have an unwelcome guest on the site. Again we told him that he couldn't sleep there, no matter how good it was for his aching back, he had to leave. He stumbled outside and walked off. I kept my eye on him to ensure that he was going to leave the park. He wandered around to the rear of the building, so I duly followed him. I asked him again to leave the site and he assured me that he was just going to finish his cigarette and then leave. Archie wanted to check the toilets on another part of the site, so I walked round and grabbed the brightest torch from the shed and met up with him on his return journey. We both walked back to where we had seen the sleeping male last. Once we'd established that he wasn't there and was nowhere in the vicinity, we wondered where he had wandered off to. I checked the entrance and the road, but someone in his state couldn't have staggered too far. The roads and the entrance were both clear, so I checked the children's play area and the wooded area around the back of the holiday cottages. No trace.

Back to the toilets to check them again, and one of the cubicles was occupied. Was this our mystery man? I waited around outside to see who would come out. A short while transpired and nobody emerged. I heard the sound of the cubicle door being unlocked, so I gave the occupant enough time to set foot outside. When they didn't, I walked over to the toilets to check them again. The occupant of the cubicle was standing, brushing his teeth, at the sink. It wasn't our man. I did a quick check of the building and grounds. Once I had established that he wasn't there, I made my way to the nearest toilet block to check there. Again, no sign of the missing male. As I was heading back out of that field, Archie said something over the radio. It was a short transmission, and I only heard his current location and the 'roger' bleep. I made my way over to the field and found Archie standing next to our man.

He knew the rough location of the tent of his friends, but not the actual tent. After he had a long, slurred conversation with Archie, we both decided that it would be best if he walked off his alcohol and came back at dawn, when he would have more of a chance to find the tent he was looking for. He must have sobered up/woken up a bit more than the last time we spoke to him, as he realised this was a good idea. He walked off the site and down the road. I checked on his progress and he was far enough down the road for us to go for a coffee break.

He returned a few hours later and managed to get into his friend's tent and sleep for a few hours. All's well that end's well.

Back in tonight, where we may have an extra warden on duty and some interesting tales to tell in the morning. The good news is that I shall be relieved of gate duty for the forthcoming ten days or so.