Both groups which I blogged about yesterday (this post) have been removed from the park. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Alex told me the good news and an even bigger sigh when I saw two blank spaces of grass where they were pitched the previous evening.
Anyway, back to last night. It started off as any other night does, nice and quiet. I walked around the site and satisfied myself that I would have a trouble-free evening. Or so I thought.
It was all going so well, until a vehicle decided to drive from the amenities block to the car park. A distance of less than 400 yards. Why they couldn't walk there, I am unsure, but that was to become apparent later in the night. As it was just after eleven, I didn't bother to speak to them (even though, on hindsight, I wished that I had).
A few taxis came back from the town and made their way quietly to their respective caravans and tents.
It quietened down for a short while, until I heard a vehicle pull in and park up. As soon as they got out of the car, they became very noisy. So I made my way down to the gate to have a word in their ears. As soon as they saw me standing there, they quietened down, bid me a good night and walked off. They walked off quietly, but soon the noise started again. I followed them, at a distance, to see where they were going and to ask them to stop antagonising the owls by making spectacularly rubbish owl noises.Once they had found their tents, they continued to be loud so I asked them again to quieten down. They apologised and I stood behind their tents to keep an eye on them. They couldn't see me, but I could see, and hear, them. It was then I noticed a torchlight at reception. It was only when the torchbearer turned the corner, that I could see how powerful the torch was. It was very powerful indeed, and not the average type of torch a punter would have. I decided to leave the males to it and made my way to reception.
As I turned the corner, I noticed a fluorescent jacket and two people standing there. It was the Police. I walked over to them, and realised it was our regular PC and one I hadn't seen before. They were looking for the owners of a vehicle which had just came back from town and was currently parked at the gate. I asked them for the registration number and the details of the car to see if it would jog my memory. As soon as he told me the make and model of the vehicle, I knew exactly who it was. The Owl Impressionists.
I showed the boys in blue where the tents were and one of the males was outside. It just so happened to be the driver of the vehicle in question. As the Police were questioning the male, the following conversation took place;
"Where's the skins?"
"Shut up, man, the Police are here."
"I know, but where's the skins? I need a joint, man!"
"Shut up, the Police are out here."
"Where's the dope?"
I was trying my best not to laugh, and the Police Officer spotted this and we both shared a 'How stupid can you be?' moment.
The male was taken down to the Police car to be breathalysed, and I spoke to the tent once more before I followed them down. When I got there, I had a long conversation with one of the constables, the regular one, before he went back to the car.
About half an hour later, a taxi pulled up and a large group spilled out into the car park. One of the drunken females noticed the Police car (let's be honest, it's not that difficult) and walked up to the driver's window to attempt a conversation with the officer of the law. It went like this;
"Hello there Mister Policeman!"
"Hello"
"Are you here to arrest me? I've been a naughty girl!"
"No, I'm not."
"Aw, but what if I said. . ."
(Police car window closes)
"He's a NASTY Mister Policeman!"
As they walked in, I asked them to quieten down and I didn't want to hear another word out of them. I think I was approximately halfway through saying, "Quieten down" when the female replied,
"Hello there Mister Man!"
At that point the regular Police officer got out the car and informed me of the outcome and thanked me for my help. After they drove off, I decided to follow the drunken group which had recently returned. Luckily, they were going to a caravan. They were still being noisy, so I walked into the caravan park and up to their 'van. I heard voices from round the back and I knew from the topic they were discussing, they were urinating. I shone the torch round the back and told them they had five seconds (which is long enough, even if you are drunk) to make themselves decent before I came round. I duly waited the five seconds, I actually think I gave them longer, and walked round. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight which was thrust upon my eyes. Let's just say, the two males had made themselves decent, but the two females hadn't. I got an "eye-full" as some may say, of the two females. I averted my eyes, and waited a few seconds before putting the torch back on them. At least they had covered up slightly, and were in the process of pulling up their jeans when I spoke to one of the males. I informed him of where the toilets were and if I had to return, they would be spending the night in Police custody.
It quietened down a lot after that, so after a quick walk around the site, I went for my break. About halfway through my well deserved break, I heard a vehicle moving around. I walked out of the office and noticed a car driving towards me. The same vehicle as earlier. I spoke to the occupants and they explained their predicament. It sounded rather suspicious to me, so I asked them to park up and sleep it off until the gates opened at six. They had come camping with a tent, but no sleeping bags or blankets. Sound suspicious to you? I thought so.
After that, the park was quiet until I knocked off shift.
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