Wet 'n' Wild

Last night was a wet night, it wasn't quite the monsoon-esque weather which other parts of the country suffered lately, but it was that incessant rain which soaks you to the very core.

After Archie and I walked around the park, surveying where everyone had pitched their tents and who would most likely cause the most trouble. I decided that I'd do the first couple of hours on gate duty. Gate duty is a task which has to be done every Friday and Saturday nights, it involves keeping an eye on the caravan pitches and the main entrances to the park.

Just before Eleven, I was walking down to the gate to lock it for the night, when I noticed a car and caravan pull up. Obviously at that time of the night, I didn't want him disturbing the majority of the guests who were asleep, so I directed him to the nearest available pitch. While I was talking to the couple, a mobile home pulled up behind them. As the caravanner's pulled away, I noticed that the mobile home wasn't planning on stopping, so I had to flag him down. After the driver explained that he had a reservation booked for one night, in the furthest field from the entrance, I asked him to wait a second while I contacted Archie to check which pitches were available. I had noticed that one of the disabled pitches was available, so I asked Archie if he could direct them into that one. They were apologetic about turning up so late, due to a number of accidents on the road up. Once they were both safely inside the park, I closed the gates and walked off to the first field.

As I made my way round, I noticed that there were several cars parked up outside the gate. I walked down to the gate to ensure that no one opened the "locked" gates and drove onto the site. I did have a slight argument with one punter who was insisting that I opened the gates to allow him to drive to his tent because it was raining. I told him, politely, that the gates are locked at eleven and there were signs which proclaim, in large bold lettering, that no vehicles are permitted onto the park once the gates are closed. I pointed the signs out to him, but he was complaining about the rain and how he'd have to carry all his stuff into the park. I apologised again, but this was instantaneously ignored. All the occupants of the vehicles behind him, realised at that point the gates weren't about to be opened and they couldn't sneak through, so they all parked up. Most of them bidding me the usual pleasantries before walking up the rain soaked drive to their accommodation, all bar one.

When I eventually managed to leave the confines of gate duty behind, I walked into the nearest tent field to tell one or two punters to quieten down. Approximately five seconds after I walked into the field, I heard a vehicle moving on site, so I had to hurry back to reception. I clocked the car and called Archie on the radio, telling him in which general direction the vehicle was travelling. I ran round the back of reception, following the car, when I was stopped by a male asking if I had a torch as he couldn't find his tent. He was very pleasant, so I couldn't exactly refuse him help. I noticed him come back fifteen minutes earlier, so he must have been wandering around since then looking for it. Luckily the male was heading in the direction of the car, which had stopped outside the toilet block, so when I got there Archie was already on the scene. I asked the driver to park up and walk back to his tent. I did this as politely, albeit slightly out of breath, as possible. Despite my best efforts, the driver said "Yeah, fine, next time speak to me more nicely."

Once we had safely deposited the roaming wanderer in his tent, Archie told me of a potential situation which was causing him, and the tents around them, some concern. When we walked into the field, I could hear the noise from the large group from quite a distance. I asked Archie how many times he had spoken to them and he told me that this would be their third time. The arrogance of the driver had obviously affected me somewhat, so I marched over to the tent, pulled the entrance open and stuck my head inside. "Right, Radio off now and you have two minutes to be quiet otherwise you'll be leaving." Normally this tactic works every time. When myself and Archie realised it wasn't going to work, I decided to call Alex out. As I was talking to him over the radio, someone in the field decided to start their car and drive it. I managed to stop them and asked them to park up. They were about to go over to the noisy group and knock seven bells of the proverbial out of them. They were happy enough when I told them that Alex was on his way to deal with them.

As I walked back over to the tents, I heard a car starting up over by the toilet block. I knew straight away that it was the same male as before, so we both ran over to stop him from moving any further. He did, but he wasn't best pleased. He may well put a complaint in about us, but Alex will soon point out that he was in the wrong. If he does try and put up any fight, then he will be escorted off the park. It's happened countless times before, he isn't the first and he certainly won't be the last.

Alex arrived, after falling asleep in his chair, and spoke to the group. He asked myself and Archie to check their tickets first thing. Lo and behold, when we did we identified a number of discrepancies. The main one was that they were in a reserved field and none of the group had the corresponding code for that field. Jackpot. Not only will they be asked to leave first thing in the morning, they won't be allowed to re-book and they'll be asked to pay the excess amount which they should have paid in the first place.

After that I went back to the gate when I heard a vehicle pulling in. It was the group of pensioners who I spoke to last night. It's this type of punter I love; no hassle, no noise, no trouble. I walked over to their car and put the torch on it, as I knew the car park is prone to puddles on that side, I didn't want them to step out of the car and into a puddle. As we all walked towards the gate they were chatty and very pleasant (maybe a few too many brandies). I warned them of the large muddy puddle just as you go through the pedestrian entrance next to the gate. As I walked off after saying my goodbyes to them, one of the females told me that I was "a true gentleman." It's nice to be appreciated once in a while.

Later in the evening, Archie was challenged to a bout of fisticuffs with a stereotypical "rubber man", who could barely keep himself upright. They went on to cause a bit of noise but soon quietened down after the threat of being asked to leave at three in the morning by the park manager. One of the group woke up at around six in the morning and was asked by Archie to quieten down, the reply which came back was a bit odd, "It's nine o'clock, it's time to party!" Followed by a lot of human beat box noises. I walked over to the tent to investigate and it seems one of the group had left his Sony Ericsson Walkman mobile phone outside. In a muddy puddle.

Karma strikes again.