Back to Basics

Things have taken a turn for the worse on the site. If it wasn't for those meddling day staff, then I wouldn't find myself boiling a pan of water for my coffee. The day staff, somehow, managed to kill the kettle and every time it's switched on, it trips all the sockets in the office. It's not the fact that I have had to go back to basics and make my coffee with a pan of water, boiled on the tiny two ring hob for the past two nights.

It's the fact that the pan is filthy and cannot be cleaned (believe me, I have tried) and it's the cleanest (and less encrusted with years of caked in food) out of the three pans available. It's the fact that the two ring hob is tarnished with layers of grime, fat and used cooking oil and that every time you switch it on, the room fills with smoke (pretty much like it was in pubs before the smoking ban came into force). I'm not even going to mention the frying pan, which is used daily by a member of the day shift for his fry-ups.

So, for the past two nights I've not drank as much coffee as I usually do, which has resulted in me being slightly tired and more grouchy to the punters than normal.

Last night was the perfect example of this behaviour.

After I had locked all the buildings and had a quick walk around the park, I made my way back to reception to ensure that all late-comers were aware of the silence policy. I heard a lot of noise, from what I thought was one of the caravan fields, so I went to take a look. The only sign of a disturbance was on the main road, by a large group of people. Well, that's what it sounded like. I made my way back to reception and waited. As soon as I noticed the torches, I did my best to will them past the park and down the road. Karma wasn't with me tonight, as the torches turned sharply and started making their way up the drive. I could hear them quite clearly from some distance away, so I made my way down to tell them to quieten down. As soon as they spotted the fluorescent jacket, they started to do what every drunk person does. They started to make the "ssh" noise. Now, when one or two people do it, that's acceptable and fairly quiet. When half a dozen people, as in this case, it sounds like a gigantic wave coming towards a beach full of shingle and crashing loudly onto it. I thought I was drowning, but I quickly put that down to a lack of coffee and went to speak to them. They assured me that they would be quiet, but I knew that they wouldn't.

I followed them, at a distance, and found where they were pitched. I asked them, again, to quieten down and head to their beds as people were asleep and they were disturbing them. I was told by one of the males that they were going to have a cup of tea and then go to bed. Fair enough, I thought, so I left them to it.

Approximately half an hour later I went back to check on them. They were still very loud, although they were inside the tent, so I asked them to quieten down. One of the females took an instant dislike to being asked to be quiet and demonstrated this by blaspheming loudly.

By this point, I was on the verge of calling Alex and asking him to have a word, but I was distracted by another tent who had decided to talk loudly. I went over to them to speak to them, they apologised and quietened down. I then returned to the boisterous tent.

I stood next to the tent, like a crouching cat ready to pounce upon it's prey, when all of a sudden one of the female occupants decided to let her friends, and all those within earshot, her new ringtone. Well, several ringtones to be precise. I walked over to the tent and announced in a firm tone that they had two minutes to be completely silent otherwise the manager would be called and they would be evicted from the site, followed by, "Is that understood?" A simple yes or no answer is all that is required here, but I was greeted with a deathly silence.

I then stood back from the tent to await the outcome. And what an outcome it was.

"I can't believe that guy just said that."
"I know. If that security guard says anything else, I'm going out there to give him a piece of my mind."
"What's the deal with the quietness anyway? God."

Normally, at this point, I like to jump in with a scintillating remark. I decided not to on this occasion.

When I returned half an hour later, the group had decided to call it a night and were asleep. Which gave me the perfect opportunity to note down the details for the report. Unfortunately, they are staying until Sunday, which means I may have to put up with them again tonight, depending on Alex's thoughts once he has read the report.

I'd like to apologise for the appalling grammatical errors in this post, I've not been to bed yet.